Lindy — When Protection Becomes Control
The lesson of surrender, discernment, and responding rather than reacting.
Every Horse Has a Story. So Do We.
There is a quiet wonder in watching the herd move together, each horse revealing its own God-given personality and purpose. Some are drawn to curiosity, some find comfort in following, and others step up to shoulder the weight of responsibility for the whole group.
And then there’s Lindy.
Lindy is one of the mustangs entrusted to us here at UnbridledTN, and if there’s one thing we’ve come to know, it’s that she longs to understand every movement, every direction, and every boundary within her world.
She’s a protector.
She keeps a watchful eye over her companions, guiding their steps and often stepping in to keep them close to the safety she knows, hesitant to let them wander beyond the familiar. If another horse drifts toward a new person or dares to explore beyond the group, Lindy is quick to intervene, drawing them back to what is known and safe in her eyes. From the outside, it might look like leadership, but watching her closely has made me consider an important distinction.
Sometimes, what we call protection is really our own attempt to hold on to control.
Sometimes, the very things we try to shield others from are the very places God intends for their growth.
Lesson One: When Protection Becomes Control
What has been especially meaningful in Lindy’s journey is how the Lord has shifted her herd dynamics. She’s now living among horses who are motivated differently. They want connection. They’re curious about people. They’re willing to explore, engage, and learn. And even though Lindy tries to guide and gather them, these horses don’t always follow her lead. They continue approaching us. They continue exploring. They continue choosing connection, even when Lindy would prefer they stay close. In her efforts to keep the others from changing, Lindy is being led into the very transformation she needs herself. She is learning that her friends can step away and all will still be well. Their curiosity does not threaten her safety, and she is not required to oversee every moment.
We are witnessing Lindy’s heart soften, her curiosity awaken, and her willingness to engage begin to blossom. There is such beauty in watching this unfold. Sometimes, growth does not begin when someone persuades us to change. Often, it begins when those around us gently step out of the patterns we have grown used to, inviting us to do the same.
The Human Connection: When Love Holds Too Tightly
How often do we confuse protecting someone with controlling them?
As parents, spouses, friends, mentors, and leaders, our hearts are often full of a sincere desire to protect those we love. We long to keep them from stumbling, from disappointment, from walking into places that might bring them pain. Sometimes that protection is absolutely necessary, but sometimes, if we pause and search our hearts, we find that what we call protection is rooted in our own discomfort.
We don’t want things to change.
We don’t want to lose influence.
We don’t want to feel left behind.
We don’t want someone else’s growth to require us to reconsider our own position. So, often without meaning to, we begin to manage their choices, discourage their independence, or gently pull them back toward what feels safe to us. We may even tell ourselves it is for their good, when in truth, we are also guarding our own sense of security.
Lindy reminds me that we cannot ask those we love to stay where we are comfortable, simply because their growth stirs something in us.
Sometimes God uses the growth of others to reveal where we still need to grow. Sometimes, loving well means giving others the freedom to take steps we might not have chosen for them. Not because we stop caring, but because we recognize that caring for someone and controlling their journey are not the same.
What Scripture Teaches Us
Proverbs 3:5–6 calls us to trust in the Lord with all our hearts rather than lean entirely on our own understanding.
Philippians 2:3–4 reminds us to act with humility, considering not only our own interests but also others'.
Together, these passages invite us to search our hearts and examine why we long to lead, protect, and influence.
Are we acting out of love and wisdom?
Or are we trying to control the outcome because true surrender feels uncomfortable?
Trusting God doesn’t mean abandoning discernment, healthy boundaries, or our responsibility to protect those entrusted to our care. It means learning the difference between faithfully stewarding what God has given us and trying to take authority over what was never ours to hold.
We can love deeply, lead faithfully, and protect wisely, without making another’s growth hinge on our own comfort.
And perhaps, that is one of the hardest places to surrender.
Lesson Two: Anticipation Is Not Obedience
There is another side of Lindy’s story that the Lord has been using to teach us. She is always anticipating what might come next. Lindy has learned to read every shift, every movement, and tries to guess what will be asked of her before we even ask. Sometimes, she is so focused on what she thinks is coming that she moves before we have even spoken. Instead of waiting, watching, and listening, she reacts to what she expects, missing what is actually being asked. And sometimes, she makes a choice before we have even made a request. What's interesting is that Lindy doesn't often refuse to participate; she is simply trying so hard to stay ahead that she misses the invitation altogether. That difference matters because our goal isn’t to become increasingly forceful, move faster than she does, or outmaneuver every anticipated response. Our responsibility is to communicate more clearly, consistently, and intentionally. We want her to discover that she doesn’t have to have all the answers.
She can pause.
She can observe.
She can process.
She can wait for the true request before choosing how to respond.
When she does, we can celebrate and encourage that thoughtful engagement.
We are also making intentional changes in how we encourage her during training. At first, food rewards helped us build trust and create positive experiences. As she grows, we are moving toward a more balanced approach, where she can stay attentive and responsive without always expecting a treat. We still use encouragement, gentle reinforcement, and the release of pressure when she responds well. However, we are also giving Lindy space to discover that learning itself is a reward, that clarity brings confidence, and that connection does not always require an immediate reward. Our goal is not just a horse who performs the right movement.
We long for a horse who is present, who understands, and who responds thoughtfully instead of reacting out of habit.
As I watch Lindy work through this, I see so much of myself reflected in her journey.
The Spiritual Connection: Responding Rather Than Reacting
How often do we find ourselves responding to things that have not even happened yet?
We brace for rejection before anyone has rejected us.
We prepare for conflict before a word has even been spoken.
We expect disappointment because we have known it before.
We read into a tone, a look, or a silence, filtering it through the lens of our past.
Before the other person has finished speaking, we have already built our defense. Sometimes, our past teaches us to anticipate problems, because anticipation once helped us feel prepared, but there is a difference between learning from the past and letting it decide how we respond in the present. Just as Lindy can be so focused on what she thinks is coming that she misses the real invitation, we too can become so consumed with what we expect that we miss what God is asking of us in this very moment. We may be preparing for a battle that never comes. Defending ourselves against words that have not been spoken. Or trying to solve a problem that has not even arrived. In all of this, we lose the ability to be present, to listen, and to respond with wisdom.
What Scripture Teaches Us
James 1:19 encourages believers to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
Proverbs 19:2 warns us that acting hastily, without knowledge, can lead us astray.
These passages remind us that discernment is more than recognizing patterns or anticipating what might come.
It requires patience.
It requires humility.
It asks us to listen before we decide what something means. Sometimes, it means challenging the conclusions we have already drawn. Spiritual maturity is not shown by how quickly we spot a problem or prepare our answer. It is seen in our willingness to seek wisdom, examine our hearts, and respond faithfully to what God has placed before us.
Being prepared for everything is not the same as being present for what God is truly asking of us.
The Greater Lesson: Learning to Surrender
As I reflect on Lindy’s journey, I see two patterns that look different on the surface, but share something deeper underneath.
The desire to control others.
And the desire to anticipate everything.
Both can grow out of our longing to create certainty in a world that so often feels uncertain. If we can keep everyone close, perhaps nothing will change. If only we could anticipate every request, maybe then we’d never be caught off guard, or so we think. If we could manage every outcome, maybe we could shield ourselves from disappointment or pain, but when we try to control every detail, we leave little space for trust to grow. Trust is not something that comes naturally; it’s learned, practiced, and experienced, often in the quiet moments when we least expect it. For Lindy, this looks like learning that the other horses are capable of making their own choices without her stepping in. She’s discovering she can wait for a cue instead of always anticipating one, and that not every unfamiliar moment calls for a quick defense. For us, it often means learning to release someone else’s journey into the Lord’s hands, trusting that He cares for them even more than we do. It might look like stepping into a hard conversation without rehearsing every possible defense, trusting God to guide our words. Sometimes it means letting someone we love grow in a direction we never expected, believing the Lord is at work in their story too. Or simply asking the Lord to show us when we’re acting from wisdom and when we’re reacting out of fear, trusting Him to reveal the difference.
Surrender is not passivity.
It doesn’t mean we have no boundaries.
It certainly isn’t pretending that hard things don’t happen.
Surrender is faithfully tending to what the Lord has entrusted to us, while trusting Him with what is beyond our reach.
Lindy’s story is still unfolding, just as ours is. She’s learning, and so are we. Each interaction is another chance to practice patience, clarity, and trust, both in the pasture and in our hearts. Maybe that’s why these horses are such meaningful teachers for us. They don’t come to us with perfectly polished lessons. They simply show us their patterns, their struggles, their progress, and their willingness to try again, reminding us that growth is a process for all of us, and that somewhere in helping them grow, we find the Lord gently revealing something new about ourselves.
A Question from the Pasture
As you move through this week, I invite you to consider two questions:
Where in my life has protection slowly become control?
Am I responding to what is actually happening, or reacting to what I fear might happen?
Invite the Lord into those places, trusting that He meets us right where we are.
Ask Him for discernment to know what is yours to steward, humility to release what isn’t, and patience to respond with wisdom instead of fear.
Sometimes the greatest act of trust is not knowing what comes next, but choosing to wait on the Lord. It’s being willing to wait, to listen, and to faithfully respond when the Lord makes the next step clear.
Until next time, from our herd to yours, may you find peace in His provision.
UnbridledTN | Lessons from the Herd
Every Horse Has a Story. So Do We.
Scripture for Further Reflection: Proverbs 3:5–6 · Philippians 2:3–4 · James 1:19 · Proverbs 19:2
Lessons from the Herd is a continuing reflection series from UnbridledTN, where our experiences with horses become opportunities to explore horsemanship, human behavior, and biblical principles for everyday life.